My friend Walter

He died a week ago today and his memorial service was yesterday. We were friends in the sense that when we saw each other we were happy to fall into a comfortable conversation about anything, but usually books and movies when we were on our own. He was older than me ... almost 20 years but still too young to die so soon though I do believe he is in a better place because I know he hadn't been himself for a while. Though I had known him almost 10 years, looking at the pictures that were around the room, I realized I barely knew him at all. When he first met his current wife, #3, (I met #1 yesterday and know #2 from Dedham), he looked like the Marlboro man! For the last few years, I mostly saw Walter walking his dog since I drive by his house

I think my biggest fear is that no one will come to my memorial service. And not because I don't believe I have friends and that I have affected their lives in one way or the other, but as the consumate project manager that I am, I fear that no one will find out the details and mostly because I don't know who will share the information ... whatever it may be. Looking at Walter's photos, I know that no one has that many photos of me, mostly because I never let my photo be taken in the old days, and often was the only photographer in the group, but also because my family, mostly my Mom, doesn't hold on to stuff that way.

I went to Legalzoom on Monday and started a will ... and haven't been back since. What makes it so difficult to make these arrangements? I am not worried I am dying tomorrow (though you never know about the big red bus) but I want to make sure that the details don't torture anyone else. Having been through it when my Dad died, I don't want Emma to have to deal with all that, but no one else either.

Don't know why I am even worried since I won't be here ...