It's amazing how good a run can feel when sometimes they feel so bad.
Yesterday I did hill sprints with another Diva and it was tough and when I reached the top of the hill, I could barely breathe and I felt like I would barf at one point, but I suppose that's the goal. My trainer, and yes, I realized this morning that I can actually say that because I do pay someone to tell me what to do regarding activity, has set up this scary but amazing plan to get us ready for Reach the Beach in May. Though I feel confident about the running part, despite the fact that I have the toughest leg, I appreciate that I will feel even more so having completed a plan.
But even more importantly, I feel the confidence in one way or another every single day. This morning it was that I worked the up hills because I knew no matter what they weren't as long as the Sprague Street hill we sprinted up 6 times yesterday. Last week, it was being told I looked "thin" by someone who hadn't seen me in 6 months. I am actually heavier than I had been by a couple of pounds, but I look and feel different because of boot camp.
And lately, when I lie down to read and relax before going to sleep, I nod off in mere minutes because both my body and my mind are tired. Though there are still the work stressors, as there always will be, it's nothing like I felt just 6 months ago at the last place.
As I was running along this morning, I was thinking about my last few bosses. In my last 4 jobs (in the last 6 years), my bosses have been women. They have all had their strengths and weaknesses (and yes, in some cases, I am being very kind) but I have learned something about myself from each one. Since I have moved around so much, I haven't had a formal review in 3 years, but the good news is, I am very self-reflective as we know. Unfortunately, my essential flaw is still present, though tempered for sure since 2009. I have a strong personality and some times it just pisses people off. I try to stop myself, and I am much more successful now (thank God for DRAFT folders) than I was in the past, but I am not at work to be liked. I am here to do my job. I think I have said that before though ; )