My friend Walter

He died a week ago today and his memorial service was yesterday. We were friends in the sense that when we saw each other we were happy to fall into a comfortable conversation about anything, but usually books and movies when we were on our own. He was older than me ... almost 20 years but still too young to die so soon though I do believe he is in a better place because I know he hadn't been himself for a while. Though I had known him almost 10 years, looking at the pictures that were around the room, I realized I barely knew him at all. When he first met his current wife, #3, (I met #1 yesterday and know #2 from Dedham), he looked like the Marlboro man! For the last few years, I mostly saw Walter walking his dog since I drive by his house

I think my biggest fear is that no one will come to my memorial service. And not because I don't believe I have friends and that I have affected their lives in one way or the other, but as the consumate project manager that I am, I fear that no one will find out the details and mostly because I don't know who will share the information ... whatever it may be. Looking at Walter's photos, I know that no one has that many photos of me, mostly because I never let my photo be taken in the old days, and often was the only photographer in the group, but also because my family, mostly my Mom, doesn't hold on to stuff that way.

I went to Legalzoom on Monday and started a will ... and haven't been back since. What makes it so difficult to make these arrangements? I am not worried I am dying tomorrow (though you never know about the big red bus) but I want to make sure that the details don't torture anyone else. Having been through it when my Dad died, I don't want Emma to have to deal with all that, but no one else either.

Don't know why I am even worried since I won't be here ...

Pumpkin Beer Addiction

It's really crazy how much I am enjoying the various types of pumpkin beers that are out right now. I am drinking a Shipyard Pumpkinhead right now which is delicious which could only be improved by being sipped out a chilled glass with a cinnamon-sugar rim, but that just seems excessive to do for one's self at home.

On the eve of yet another first day of a new job, I look back to the last week of vacation between jobs. What can I say? It was awesome. Packed a lot of fun and rest and all that good stuff. House is clean. Grocery shopping and laundry done and all I have to do is get up and go tomorrow.

Had a fun run with the TIR's today. It felt really good while I was doing it ... why don't I do it more on my own? I am hoping that the lack of soul-sucking from my day job will help me be more motivated about everything else I do. It's that busy time of year ... Emma's schedule and mine are conflicting but we'll figure it out.

Need to lose 5 pounds by Sunday morning ... MUST FOCUS and track! Practice what I preach and all that. PointsPlus2012 has a lot to offer. Glad I got a preview today. Try something new this week with the new job, the new commute and all that other new stuff.

Happy fall!

So Tired

Crazy couple of weeks after giving notice. I think I worked harder in the last two weeks than ever before, which of course isn't true, but I certainly didn't phone it in. Went out Friday night for only the 2nd time in the last year with work peeps ... it was fun and I hope I didn't say too much (that last pumpkin beer may have given me a loose tongue, but at that point, everyone else had had a few as well).

Today I ran the BAA 1/2 - in exactly the amount of time I thought it would take. I said 9 minute miles and they were 8:59's. Considering I did NO training for this, it was pretty damn good. The question is, why don't I want to run any more? When I am doing it, it's really fun and I am actually pretty good at it, but since I am not training for a marathon, I can pretty much do it when I feel like it and get away with it.

I think I need to re-focus on quantity of events maybe ... spend more time with TIR's. I did offer to be a captain of a team next year which means I will have to be motivational and lead by example ... hahahahaha.

But really, what is next? 2011 has been a very good year. A couple of 1/2 marathons and a full in April. A flash mob experience that I am not sure can be topped. A new job in a still-down economy. So what is next? How do I find something motivating but flexible enough to fit into my already busy life.

Maybe that's what I can do this week that I have off ... figure something out to do along with clean the house, long ride with Katie, lunch with the girls and Heather, a massage, a cross country meet and a trip to Sweet tomorrow. No wonder I am so tired.

Another new job

One of my old bosses posted on my FB page ... "what are you in the witness protection program?" It's true, I have changed jobs a lot in the last 6 years since I "went back to work".

The last year has been tough ... though I actually liked what I was doing and was pretty good at it, the place I worked is literally toxic, to quote Ms. Brittany Spears. The good news is, after almost 9 months, I got a job that I think will work. More money, working from home 1-2 days a week, and excellent benefits. I am soooo over looking for a job. I have deleted all my search lists, and even the folder of miscellaneous rejections, and plan on doing nothing but settling in once I start on the the 17th.

Between now and then, I have to finish some work. No, I am not one of those types who just checks out once giving notice - those of you who are friends from former places know that those last 2 weeks I try to make up for actually leaving. Then next Sunday I am running the BAA 1/2 ... going to be tough since I am barely running these days. Hope to spend some time with Emma, but her schedule is pretty busy so who knows ...

For all of you who are working at a job you are miserable at or even just unhappy, you too can make a change. There are jobs out there, it just takes time and determination. If I can get 6 jobs in the last 6 years - each time making more money and getting new skills from the last, you can make the change. I've learned a lot from all this ... hopefully something I can put to use in my new job : )